Ever notice how some people act a little differently after a few drinks? From getting more chatty to telling the same stories, alcohol can bring out all kinds of habits. So when sober Redditors were asked what they notice about people who drink, they had plenty of interesting answers.
In this Reddit post, user iwishuluck asked, "People who do not drink alcohol, what do you notice about those that do?" Here's what everyone said.
Disclaimer: These are only personal observations from Redditors and are meant to be lighthearted, but addiction isn't. Alcohol use disorder is a serious medical condition and nothing here is a diagnosis of anyone. If you or someone you love is struggling with alcohol, you're not alone. Help is available. In the US, you can call the free and confidential National Helpline for Mental Health, Drug, Alcohol Issues anytime at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).
1. "They don't realize how drunk and annoying they are, especially as they get older. It's not funny. You're just sloppy, more emotional, and repetitive."
2. "It depends. I know plenty of people who can drink alcohol responsibly. They change very little. People with drinking problems trend to change their behavior almost immediately. The first or second drink is when they start acting differently. They speak differently, they stand differently, and their brains work differently. They don't understand things because they aren't really listening anymore. You have to repeat yourself. They tell the same story over and over again, forgetting that they've already told it."
3. "I don't drink because I just don't enjoy it anymore and I want to support my partner who has a drinking problem and is sober. Last Christmas, I had family members who continued to pour alcohol into my cans of cool drink as a 'joke'. They kept 'joking' that they were going to do the same to my partner."
4. "People who drink around intentionally sober folks always get defensive and try to downplay how much they drink. I'm not pushing sobriety on anyone, but if you feel the need to justify to a relative stranger how much or how often you drink, maybe you should evaluate your relationship with alcohol."
5. "People tell you EVERYTHING. I've had people I've just met at parties tell me their deepest darkest secrets or just open up to me about what's going on in their lives."
6. "I'm five years sober. What I notice most is how much people apologize for drinking around me, and how much they explain their own drinking. Like bro, I'm not judging you. I just don't want one. But after two drinks, EVERY person tells me their whole relationship with alcohol. They say things like, 'I only drink on weekends,' 'I can stop whenever I want,' 'I'm not like my dad'. It's wild how self-conscious people get when someone just opts out. Also, drunk stories are NEVER as funny when sober. Never."
7. "As someone who quit at 34 after a divorce, I've noticed how everyone (myself included) relies on it to be social post-college. It takes so much effort to maintain friendships and contact with others, and without that social lubricant, it's so much more mentally draining for me with ADHD. It's been almost five years, and with a lot of therapy, it's gotten much easier."
8. "They say they’ll do something but then forget by the next morning. They start stories but then get distracted and never tell the whole story."
9. "Alcohol seems like an amplifier. If they're happy and cheery, then it seems to deepen their ability to experience it. If they're sad, then it does the same. It's interesting seeing people lose their grip on themselves after one too many."
10. "Their lives tend to revolve around drinking. For example, they'll only participate in activities and eat in places where alcohol is available."
11. "Conversation is typically fun until about 11 p.m. Then they start getting silly to watch. Then at midnight, it’s time for me to go home and they can go do whatever weird stuff they want to get into."
12. "The people who I know that have drinking problems are very aggressive and obnoxious, and it's always a worry that a fight will start at a family event. Also, every event is an excuse to drink. I was pretty appalled at the adults who were drinking themselves blind at my niece's first birthday party with lots of young children around, and how these little kids were ignored for alcohol."
13. "There’s a switch and they don't seem authentic or themselves. It feels like I’m an unnecessary body and it’s a waste of time to even be there."
14. "Many drinkers' friendships revolve solely around enabling drinking. Remove the drinking, and 9 times out of 10 the friendship will cease to exist."
15. "More people have emotional connections to drinking than they realize. The amount of people who are offended or feel victimized when I say I’m not drinking at an event is too high. They also see it as me refusing to take part in the celebration/occasion at hand. I’ve had people shove a drink in my hand and tell me I’m being unreasonable. If this is you, you should seriously consider how you think about alcohol in your life and what it means to you. Chances are you're not approaching it with a healthy mindset."
16. "To give light, I love drinkers who tend to be the life of the party and bring the laughs at the get together over non-drinkers who are complete wallflowers, can't dance, won't talk to anyone unless to judge others or gossip, and just wait to go home. But it always sucks when the drinkers come who can't hold it and embarrass themselves. When they start having an emotional episode, throwing up everywhere, and picking fights, they end up ruining the occasion for everyone."
17. "When I scaled back my drinking, the first thing I noticed was how boring drunk people are. They just constantly repeat themselves, get louder and louder, and think what they’re saying is brilliant. They're also argumentative and make nonsensical arguments. I cringe to think how much I did this."
18. "It depends on the person. Some people get aggressive, angry, belligerent, or violent when they drink. Others get way too emotional, just laugh a lot, talk too loud, or can get quiet or very sleepy. Each individual human has their own 'drinking personality'. In the end, there are simply too many health benefits gained by not drinking than to bother with figuring out creative ways to drink without it adversely affecting your health and your life. College kids in their 20s can also bounce back from binge-drinking hangovers more quickly when compared to older people, so drinking for older people (even in moderation) requires more careful contingency planning, monitoring, more frequent washroom breaks, and various other inconveniences and lifestyle adjustments. I'd rather be golfing. Next."
19. "The weirdest 'drinking personality' I ever encountered was a former friend of mine who was just a messed-up, dysfunctional, neurotic, selfish, controlling, unpleasant mess of a person (I think also wildly neurodivergent). When she had a few drinks, though, she acted like a perfectly well adjusted, functional normie! It was absolutely surreal."
20. "Up to about three drinks, everyone is fine. After that, the more they drink, the more they repeat themselves, the more belligerent they get, and the less I want to be around them."
21. "I used to be someone who drank frequently and I’ve almost completely cut alcohol out of my life. I have maybe one drink a month now. I’ve noticed SO much going from one side to the other. First, people who drink have no hobbies. Drinking is their hobby. It used to be my hobby. Now that I don’t drink, I’ve had to fill that space with so much, like reading, baking, working out, and going for walks. I've also noticed that people who drink a lot don’t really like hanging out with those who don’t. I’m not invited as much to things that include drinking (which is pretty much everything)."
22. "Without fail, they become dumber and more childish with each drink. This is not the whimsical, carefree kind of immaturity, but the embarrassing, tiresome kind."
23. "They’re completely focused on it. I used to drink but stopped a few years ago for health issues. I was playing volleyball in the park yesterday. Some people brought a cooler full of beers and they would spend the entire game trying to organize the next shotgun. One girl was sober and they literally couldn’t think of anything else to talk to her about, except to tease her about being sober."
24. "I'm almost seven years alcohol-free. Immediately and overwhelmingly is the smell. I can tell immediately if someone has been drinking, or if someone consumes moderate amounts on a regular basis. You don't have to be drunk around me for me to notice who has a drinking habit and who doesn't."
25. "I'm the non-drinker in a family of drinkers. I can tell you that drinkers absolutely have no idea the toll their drinking takes on other people. And I don't just mean non-drinkers. My nephew drinks, and I can see how much it hurts him to see his mother drunk, and she has no idea."
26. "They have to spend more than I do. I can have one drink, and I’m feeling good halfway through because my tolerance is so low. I see others consuming three or four drinks just to feel anything. I’m grateful it costs less for me."
27. "They try to get you lower your standards to their level, just like people who constantly eat fast food when they see you’re trying to eat healthy."
28. "They always seem to have a story about when things went too far. Generally, the story involves things like passing out somewhere unusual or nudity (particularly with an unexpected audience), and often behavior of questionable legality, which could well have resulted in some bodily harm up to and including death. Yet, they'll retell the story with a soft chuckle and an almost nostalgic look on their face, as if they're wondering whether they could incorporate it into their upcoming weekend plans."
29. "I’m 18 months sober today (yay), but on top of all the other stuff that’s been mentioned about behavior, I notice their skin. Heavy drinkers obviously have more happening, but even in casual drinkers, it's there as well. There’s a tiredness/dullness to the skin."
30. "The smell. I'm 15 months sober, and I'm in a place where public transport is a primary mode of transportation. I was heading home from the gym on a weekend evening recently, right around the time people started going out. I had to hold my breath for most of the ride. It wasn't just the alcohol, but mixed in with cigarettes and perfumes, it became a nauseating, overwhelming stench. I can also smell bars from several houses down now. I literally never knew about this (I drank from my early teens onwards)."
What are other specific things that you notice people who drink often do? Tell us in the comments or in the anonymous form below.
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
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